Healthy & Homemade

The girls are loving my smoothies these days. Recently Caylee was looking up recipes & ways to prevent acne. She was super excited that she found a recipe for an avocado blueberry smoothies (because we had the ingredients) so she made it !

But then, she found a recipe for a facial cleanser/moisturizer..... avocados & flax seed. We had those ingredients as well! She and Sarah tried it out.














I have always liked guacamole but avadacoes are my new favorite food. Just slice it open and sprinkle on a little iodized sea salt. yummmmm!!!!

My girls are always beaufitul.

They had fun with these recipes and loved how this homemade natural facial mask made their skin feel!

On fixing Things

A friend of mine emailed me last night after my (sad) blog post. She was so kind and made a valid point. I am a person who likes to fix things. I want to help. However, I cannot fix everything in this world and that gets frustrating to me at times. Last night I just went to bed early to rest my body & mind. However, before I went to bed, my youngest daughter was "fixing" something.

Do you know what this is?

Heart Aches

There are so many things in life I don't understand. Tonight my heart aches for so many reasons.

I have always had the desire to work with children; A desire to teach children. I view it as a ministry. I had a state licensed home daycare for years and I taught them things they needed to know before entering Kindergarten but I also taught them Bible lessons, prayers & blessings. Many of the children I cared for were not from Christian homes and it was always good to hear that when they went home at night they INSISTED that their parents pray over their dinner before they ate!

In recent years I have felt drawn to children who don't have stable homes. This desire began when I traveled to Romania and worked with visually impaired orphans who had been affected by poverty and alcohol. In the past year, Gary and I were guardians of little Sweet Pea which also opened my eyes to the Foster Care system. When we went through classes at DSS I realized so much more about what many children often have to go through and deal with in life such as poverty,neglect or abuse. These issues often create behavior problems.

I have been dealing with those types of situations for awhile now and it is exhausting emotionally. One minute I am overwhelmed with empathy and sadness but then it can turn to frustration and anger. When you are dealing with a child who acts out by screaming, biting, tantrums, throwing things and spitting it is frustrating in the moment but when you sit back and realize why he/she might be acting out, it is heart wrenching.

In recent years I have seen so many children deal with death, affects of alcoholism/drugs, and watching their parents go to jail or rehab. Those things are hard enough on adults!

Tonight my heart aches. I am emotionally drained. In the past I couldn't understand why some people wouldn't spend the time and energy to help and work with children who were in bad situation and needed love, attention and time. Tonight my heart aches for so many that I have worked with over the past few years and I wonder how much longer I can take this.

Tonight I pray that God would show me what he would have me do from here. I am at a loss . I don't understand and I know it isn't for me to understand but I can only do so much. I never realized how draining it could be to reach out to those in need.

I am not trying to "toot my own horn" here. I am simply telling you why I chose this kind of work and how after over 20 years it has taken a toll on me, emotionally. I am tired. I am stressed. I am drained & my heart aches so much I can barely stand it.

Wordless Weekends

We are Tarheel fans

We are tarheel fans. Our cat's name is Tarheel. She has a black spot on the back of one of her legs. She is a beautiful cat who happens to be old. Ive lost track of how old she is but it seems like we have had her forever! She has given birth to several litters of kittens and we have kept some but something has happened to all of our cats but her. She is still with us, she remains faithful even though we have always had dogs around. She snuggles with them, and often lets them know when she doesn't feel like playing.

We are UNC tarheel fans hoping they win tonight.

*and I took this photo of her with my new camera while trying to learn to use it.

Its Saturday

Its Saturday and we slept til 9, I made french toast for the girls and we ate it with peanut butter and syrup. (its the only way Ive ever eaten french toast, try it!) Then we started "spring cleaning"

I claimed this would be an Internet free day until all the cleaning was done. So far (until now) it has been. We have gotten a lot done and will continue to work on things every day. I made a blueberry banana smoothie and just sat down to get my blogging fix.

My new camera came in and I'm about to learn to use it! It is very different than any camera Ive ever owned. I'm excited about learning to use it but a little intimidated.

I am feeling slightly less stressed lately since quitting school and letting go of the bills and letting my husband handle them. I am so happy and thankful he let me get the camera I wanted to work on my photography hobby.

Tonight we will move the crib out of the house and into storage (that all my babies used and that we used for Sweet pea) as well as returning the changing table that my sister let us use. Its pretty sad to move the last of the baby stuff out.

Its Saturday and I feel a little relaxed, slightly less stressed, a little sad & yet excited to use my new camera for the first time.

Enjoy your Saturday.

Is it Friday yet?

Im pretty frustrated.

I messed on my diet but not as big as I have in the past.

I havent eaten a greasy cheesburger in over a month!

What I have done is neglected to count my points, or drink the amount of water I need to or excercise. I was so excited when i went shopping over the weekend to discover that I could wear a smaller pants size but frustrated that the scale says I gained my 5 lbs back!

I suppose you can lose inches instead of pounds.

This morning I started back with my smoothies

and my favorite so far is :

1 c unsweetened almond milk, 1 banana, 1/2 c frozen strawberries, 1/4 c plain yogurt and finish filling the blender up with spinach.

Today was just a frustrating day and all I wanted to do when i got home was climb in bed and cry myself to sleep. (I did go to bed but I didnt cry)

I ordered my camera this week to begin a hobby in photography.

I also worked on paperwork to send my firefighter to college in a big city away from home.

That makes me so sad as I just got used to the idea that my Marine is no longer living with us!

Is it Friday yet??

Making Messes

I believe in children being allowed to make messes. This is a container of sand and measuring objects in my classroom. We also have a container of dry rice and dry beans. They have their own "free will" to choose what they want to play with in the classroom. Sometimes the children in my room make a mess of things. I think its important for the children to clean up after themselves as much as possible. I give them the items needed for clean up but in the end I always step in to help (when they ask)

This is so much like life as humans. We have our own free will to make choices in this life. We very often make a mess of things when we attempt things alone but when we reach out to Christ he will step in and help us with the mess we are in (that we very often have created)

Sometimes I feel like all I do is make a mess of all things good in my life. Sometimes I dwell on the messes of the past way too much but I just don't know how to let go. Sometimes I feel like life would be better for others if I moved on and started all over or just took some time to be alone for awhile. Letting go of the past is more difficult than I ever thought, be it our own mess or a hurt someone else caused its hard to let it go and move on. It is then when we should ask Jesus to Take the Wheel for awhile.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lydBPm2KRaU&ob=av3n

Remember My Firefighter?

Remember my "prom going firefighter" You may recall that MckMama took these senior portraits of our daughter last spring. She loves being a volunteer firefighter as well as wearing pink and lots of glitter!

We had a lot of fun when we met MckMama in Charlotte North Carolina. We wanted these photos to capture her personality and they did! Many people look at her and think she couldn't possibly enjoy getting called to fires & accidents.

Those people couldn't be more wrong! Last weekend she was doing some hands on training at a controlled burn of an old house. She loved being inside this burning house and learning new skills along side of her boyfriend who is also a volunteer firefighter.

this photo was taken by Erika Oakley

the top 3 photos were taken by Jennifer Mckinney

www.mycharmingkids.net

There are only two other girls just as pretty as this lovely firefighter on the left.... Ill write about them next week !!!

Crazy things parents hear themselves say

How many times have you said something out loud and then thought, "wow that sounded pretty crazy, what would people think if they heard me say that?" Well I have and while my children are getting older now I still remember the things Ive said to them and I still say things at work to the children there and think... wow.

Here are the things I have personally said :

1. Stop sword fighting with my butcher knives!
2. Why is there poop in the laundry basket?
3. If I find out you have melted anymore army men or balloons on your barney lamp Im taking it out of this room!
4. She is sleeping with her swim goggles on?
5. How did a lizard get in the dryer?
6. I knew that because "Mommy's know everything"
7. No, we cannot keep the baby mouse that is caught in the trap for a pet.
8. Don't ever put a frog in the freezer again!
9. That's very interesting but I really don't want you making raisins by leaving grapes in your room.
10. It might have been funny to you, but she doesn't like you to slap her in the face with cheese while she is sleeping and especially if you video tape it!

Ok, I'm dying to hear something funny, so comment under this blog and tell me funny things you have heard yourself say!

Young Love

I remember it like it was yesterday, I dropped my son off at our local High School (yes, the only high school in town except for a Charter School) for Drivers Ed. He was in Middle School but they did Drivers Ed during the summer for all the Middle School kids in the High School cafeteria. I picked him up a few hours later and I asked if he knew any of the kids there. He said yes but then he started talking about this pretty girl in there.

It was a few years later when he started dating that pretty girl he saw in Drivers Ed. Her name was Khrystyna and he thought she was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. When they started dating, he came home one night and asked the exact time and place he was born. It was that night that he told me that Khrystyna had the same birthday! (just a few hours later than him and at a different hospital)

They dated three years (just like Gary and I did) and planned on getting married when he returned from his deployment. They did just that.

Young love is so refreshing and innocent. After being married for nearly 22 years I know that a marriage takes so much more than love. (like commitment and forgiveness) If you read my post "Love is a verb" you will remember when I said that "love" you felt in the beginning may not always be there. However I do think that this innocent and refreshing young love is the first ingredient to a good marriage. Its the thing we must remember and hold on to as the years go by. I'm so proud of these two. Being young and having things together enough to be in the Military (and she in college) and live at the beach. Fulfilling their dreams and living life one day at a time. I love them both and wish them a world of happiness.

I just hope they come home to visit us soon.

I love you Samuel & Khrystyna!

*photo taken by Micah Wells Photography

Life is good today!

Life is good today! I'm always happy when Friday rolls around. It helps that I decided to buy a few items of clothing only to realize I can wear a size smaller! Now, I look forward to seeing them become baggie!

Other than being tired, yesterday I was in a pretty good mood. Today I woke early and went to breakfast with a friend (wearing my new outfit that I think would be pretty awesome with a pair of red pumps) We talked, and ate, shopped and talked. It was a nice little break from routine. It was nice to know that other moms feel the way I feel, have the same frustrations and yet enjoy the same joys of being a mom.

Yesterday it was 75 degrees and I have a little taste of spring fever now. Today its 50 degrees and very very windy. We had a nasty thunderstorm yesterday and the old wives tale says that if there is thunder in winter there will be snow within ten days. So... lets see if it holds true this time! It usually does.

I have a lot of cleaning to do today but life is still good :)

Ive been singing this song IN MY HEAD all day :) Oh, but scroll to the bottom and cut off my playlist to hear the song on the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkrIa8SjqYI

(but I dont drink beer or smoke and Im not at the beach! )

ps. I dont know why my hyperlinks are not working now...... anyone know?

Progress

I'm working hard on a lot of things these days.
You see, Ive always been one to hold in and hide my thoughts and feelings.

Ive always been good at writing my feelings out in journals or letters

however, I usually never let anyone see them.

It is obvious that Ive struggled for a long time with things like anxiety and depression

when you read my blog and/or facebook

However, the people that see me daily (such as coworkers and friends) may not see it.

I'm good a pretending. I'm good at smiling to cover feelings

but I also don't feel this way when I'm busy.

Once in awhile I may not be able to hide my tears

(or feelings) but usually I can.

The thing is, that I'm not usually struggling like this while at work because I'm very busy and don't have time to think about things. That was one reason I wanted to work outside of the home. Being busy is good for me (usually) but I guess we cant avoid those feelings for too long because they come out one way or another.

For me, its usually when I'm at home and alone.

Anyway, using my blog to vent or share with others how I feel is progress for me because I know that people see what I write. Years ago, I wrote things out and hid them or tore them up and tossed them. Knowing that someone sees this, is progress. Even more than that, I know that my friends, family and coworkers also read this blog. Writing out things like "I'm suffering from depression" is a big step for me because I'm telling the world and no longer keeping everything in. Doing so helps me, and even more, it helps others who are suffering the same way. However, it does cause concern in some

when they read some of the things that I post.

It makes me feel good that some are concerned but it also makes me feel bad because that isn't my intention at all. More than anything, I tend to vent on facebook "in the moment" and I'm working on trying to stop doing that so much.

It has helped me to blog my feelings and to go back and read previous posts.

Doing that has allowed me to see that I need to do some things for me (for a change)

Ive been feeling better recently (but this week have been incredibly tired)

Please realize that what I write isn't how I'm feeling 24/7

The depression and the anxiety come and go.

There are a lot of other things going on in my life that I do NOT blog about.

I do keep some things private.

I appreciate those who are concerned for me.

When you feel concerned, you are always free to email me and touch base but mostly

I would appreciate your prayers for me and my family.

For now, I'm working on new hobbies, reading novels I enjoy & hopes and plans for my future.

Doing these things for myself, makes me feel better

and relieves some stress :)

I'm trying to think on those things instead of :

*how much I miss Sweet Pea

*how much I miss my Marine son (and his new wife)

*how much Ill soon be missing my prom going firefighter as she will be moving out and going to college. :(

My Children Are Beautiful

http://www.micahwellsphotography.com/

Craziness & Karma

Monday this is what my yard looked like as I left for work.Today its sunny and 75 degrees!

Things are just crazy. The weather is crazy, the kids in my classroom are crazy!

Maybe they are as confused as the weather (and the frogs) around these parts.

*****

I have been off my diet the past two days. Feeling discouraged as far as that is concerned but Ill jump back on the wagon soon. Today I enjoyed lunch with my boss as it was my one year anniversary working for her this week and she treated me to lunch at a new Restaurant in our town named "Karma" (it was good)

*****
I will announce the coffee winner soon! If you have not entered, do so HERE!